How to Effectively Prepare for a Date that You're Really Excited About (dating tips)

1. Wake up. Proceed to throw up in the toilet.
2. Take a shower. Ensure that no puke is stuck in your teeth.
3. Take another shower. Trim pubic hair.
4. Receive text message from your other scheduled date for the day.
5. Cancel that date.
6. Pick up finger and toenail clippings from the floor of bedroom.
7. Chastise yourself for not working out more.
8. Consider wearing shoes with thicker heels. (the date is 5'9".)
9. Chastise your parents for being short.
10. Go to BevMo in San Mateo and buy remaining six-packs of Zima.
11. Check your cell phone every five minutes to make sure hot chick with the hot brain did not cancel the date.
12. Thank the lord.

Wish me luck. Also, keep your fingers crossed that dating season is finally over.